[His calling ... he thinks of a promise made with Aki in the shadows of a burning building, a life claimed far too early. Become strong enough to do what's right. He's always ... wanted to do good. Back then, the scale had been so small -- he wanted to watch his best friend's back while they fought to keep people safe from the Shadows.

But after everything fell apart, he's never been able to grasp it again, that sense of doing what's right. He's tried, he tried so hard to make amends for his mistakes, but it only ever seemed to dig him deeper into the muck. Even his own death, the only "good" thing he feels he's ever accomplished, hadn't been without consequence. The past five months have given him far too much time to think about those last moments, the way Amada had screamed, the look on Aki's face as he held his bloody hand. To give his life for the kid's had felt like a better end than he deserved, and it still does, for the most part, but ...

It had hurt people he cared about and people he barely knew both. That's always how it seems to go, with him.

His hands threaten to shake. He shoves them in his pockets to stop them.]

...It's a nice idea, Qifrey. But some of us just ain't meant for shit like that. We just make things worse, whatever we try to do.

[The only thing calling him is being a failure, he's pretty sure. He's so ... tired.]