lab inbox

[petsthedog]

placeholder. someday, gadget

Comments

[pedagogies]

It goes badly because you give up.

And the reason it is true is because you won't fight for it. The only person who is saying those things is you. An echo chamber of your worst feelings.

[petsthedog]

[His breath stutters in his throat; he clenches his hands tighter as though to physically hold onto his composure.]

You got it backwards. Would you keep pourin' water onto a grease fire just to say you stuck it out? Stepping back just makes more sense, after a point.

[But he can never seem to just walk away from the fire, can he? He keeps coming back, drawn to it like a moth, and burning himself, over and over.]

[pedagogies]

Perhaps. There is a limit to how much a person can take.

But again, you refuse to try something different. If fighting is what goes wrong, why must it be true for everything else?

[ qifrey gestures to shinji's kitchen. ]

You still cook. Are you saying every meal you make is torrid now?

[petsthedog]

[He blinks, almost startled to have it brought up.]

That's not...it's just a hobby. I ain't out here runnin' a soup kitchen or some shit.

[pedagogies]

It's still something you succeed in, is it not?

[petsthedog]

It ain’t the same kind of thing.

[Apples and oranges as it were, pun unintended.]

It…ain’t something that matters.

[pedagogies]

[ qifrey's eye narrows a fraction. ]

So the only power that matters, power to change things, is violence.

Not feeding the hungry. And not healing people.

[petsthedog]

"Feeding the hungry"'s a dramatic way to put it. We made pancakes together, once. I made udon for Doc Maruki as a thanks once. That's it.

[Healing ... is something that would matter. But it's precisely why he doesn't trust himself to do it.]

[pedagogies]

Oh?

Then why did you learn it?

[petsthedog]

...I don't know, it was fun, I guess?

[He did used to do some things simply for the joy of it, once upon a time.]

[pedagogies]

[ gently. ]

Yes, I imagine so. But there was a need for it, wasn't there?

[petsthedog]

You're givin' me too much credit. It's a useful skill, sure, but it ain't like I picked it up so I could feed people. Just wanted to be self-sufficient, really.

[He shakes his head, a handcoming up to rub at his neck.]

Hell, it ain't even something I used to tell people about much.

[pedagogies]

Because you treat it that way. As something less important than fighting. And protecting.

But it's not true. Other skills have value. And they can absolve you if you let them.